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losing my most precious thing doesn't make me cry...
having a screwed up family doesn't make me cry...
standing on the scale and finding out I've gained another pound doesn't make me cry...
losing a man can no longer make me cry....
what I never realized ... is that too much pressure from work made me busrt out into tears more than once at the office!!!
I think my EQ is too low of which my emotion just doesn't express in an appropriate manner......
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| I used to think there's no place like home...
I am moving on my own to a new 'home' ...or more like a 'box' with a bed and a toilet and a table.
Just a statement of facts, neither comment nor feeling associates with this entry.
This isn't a good thing or a bad thing. I know nothing stays the same and that's just the way life is.
It's all good.. especially when I am talented at adjusting my thoughts.
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Haven't updated my xanga for more than a month coz' work has been hectic... I've only so far met ONE out of ..god knows how many deadlines even though I've been working till 12am at least every night.... I've only been working for less than half a year at KPMG but I m in-charge of 8 insurance companies !?!? all on my own... WHAT THE FUCK..!?!? My department is so bloody short of staff! fucking can't KPMG get more actuaries!?!?!?!
OK ...what have I done in the past .. 4 weeks? Shanghai twice, Macau twice..for work.. and work and work.. jeez that's boring....Love Shanghai it's so pretty.. I m glad I at least found time to meet up with Stephen Chu and Stephen Zhang. The Pearl of Asia or whatever that's called made me speechless.. and so did the two Stephen! wahahaa.
Yeah and I performed dancing at KPMG annual dinner (still work-related!) which was fun but deprived me of heaps of time rehearsing during working hours... (that's probably one reason why I couldn't meet my deadlines) ...
What else? starting to love staying home.. not as restless anymore. And this time I mean it...I guess it's work that has been killing my energy...ok I think I should stop here coz' all I talk about it's work really.. oh GOD... I m turning into a workaholic no life grumpy fat ass bitch ARGH!!!!!
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Once again it's the end of another year. i.e. it's time to evaluate what happened to me this year, what I've learned this year and what is my resolution for the upcoming year 2007.
This year is the biggest change I have ever encountered in my life so far: moving from Melbourne to Hong Kong, transitting from hardcore studying to full-time working, transforming from being a dependent to an independent (financial-wise at least), from being spoilt by private luxurious transport to squashy public transport, from drinking a AUD 2.50 guaranteedly delicious coffee to a HKD 25 Starbucks latte with taste only nice by chance, from being a girl who merely knew what a bill is to a girl who has to be calculative in terms of EVERY single expense, from thinking that I am not, after all, that fat, to feeling obese when being surrounded by aneoxic Hong Kong female sticks, from believing that all friends, especially the new ones of whom I met in Hong Kong, is worth treassuring, to realizing that people could be evil enough to abuse your trust in order to get what they what from me....
These may all sound very cynical but I believe this is only the beginning of the cruelty of the reality. But I am still a happy, independent and strong soul though, and I am still here to believe that thing will eventually fine tune with the issues I am facing right now and will eventually be satisfying.
For the upcoming year, I want to:
- lose weight (OMG I am so sick of this resolution... and I am eating sausages right now at 5am before bed... )
- get a significant pay rise so that my life can be easier
- get over and done with the FAP (actuarial-related) exams so that I am more expensive in terms of qualification
- not waste time on male creatures with whom I am not compatible but just want to kill time and loneliness
- invest in stocks to earn quick money
- lower my credit card balances
- be more aware of new friends whom I will meet. To be honest, all my Melbourne friends are the best with no doubt
- smoke less ciggarettes and drink less alcohol (banned from them? NO FUCKING WAY!!! )
- sleep before 12am everynight
- do more yoga
- go back to Melbourne once
- make my Carol and Carmen happy or at least happier by giving them something material or mental, I don't know. Because after all, a small part of the reason as to why they came back to Hong Kong is due to my stubborness.
I have changed a lot in 2006. I have become more cautious of what I say and act. It's a good thing though I believe, what else can you gain from coming back to Hong Kong apart form learning how to be the smart and 'yuen wart'?
Merry X'mas.
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| X'mas + Michael Buble combo just makes people wanna fall in love, don't you think?  It all in a sudden makes love become the answer for everything. AHHH. | | |
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